Jokes

here you can say all (if any) jokes you have. good or bad, your own or someone elses, whatever. we (mainly i) want to here them.



heres a rubbish one;

a bus driver needs to get a new coach. he goes into a bus store(if such a thing exists), and asks to see their best model.
he buys one, with voice recognition, so you just say something to go forwards, reverse etc.
HOWEVER, it is a strict religious bus shop, so the words to go forward are "thank the lord", and reverse is "Amen".
he trys it out, and 'thinks this is good'. he says 'thank the lord', and it goes forward. he says 'Amen', and it goes back.
SO, he picks up some passengers. he says "thank the lord". he drives along for a bit.
then he gets a passenger who wants to go to the beach.
"thank the lord"
He heads in that direction, coming up towards some cliffs.
then he says "Amen" to slow down.
nothing happens.
"Amen"
"Amen!"
"AMEN!!!!"
still nothing happens
hes coming towards the very edge.
hes going to fall
"AMEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
It stops
with a sigh of relief, he says "oh, thank the lord"

Ok is he dead now

oh, heres another one;

'what is 2+2?

Quote :

Your IQ!

the penny has dropped! i mean, come on, of course he is
or seriously injured




or something...

My IQ is not...

...

...

...

7

what do you get when a piano falls down a mine?

shroom of doom wrote:

An A Flat Minor!

oh, be glad you dont live near me.
that was one of the better ones...


ok, this is the best one ever.

"whats orange and sounds like carrot?

shroom of doom wrote:

A Carrot!

please refrain from double posting let alone triple posting.....

And your a mod.....

what! thats coming from you....
its a different (so called)joke every time, so i didnt think it really matters...


read then delete.


anyway, urs is spam:twisted:

Please keep on topic....

Jokes aren't my speciality but I'll soon think of something !

*sits and thinks*

What's white and brown all over?

Quote :

Second-hand toilet paper!

Do you get it?

Quote :

HAHA you get second hand toilet paper!

a man walked into a bar..... ouch

lol not funny

a bear walks into a bar and says to the bar man " can i have a gin and....
....
....
....
....
....
....
....
tonic?" then the bar man says "why the long pause?" and the bear replies "I'm a bear! course i have big paws!"


hahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!! not funny

i think i should have said jokes that are at least slightly funny.
i will get a good one.






hopefully...

Soilydude wrote:

a bear walks into a bar and says to the bar man " can i have a gin and....
....
....
....
....
....
....
....
tonic?" then the bar man says "why the long pause?" and the bear replies "I'm a bear! course i have big paws!"


hahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!! not funny

never heard that one its kinda all right attually

there are 3 kinds of people;
those who can count, and those that can't.

shroom of doom wrote:

there are 3 kinds of people;
those who can count, and those that can't.

That's in a homer card!

such a funny smilie!
an then there's the mongloid:

a what card!?

youve lost it

hay cool the forum is still alive
and now we are doing jokes

Man walks into a bar with a hippo.
they both have a lot too drink and the Man starts to walk out of the bar
"oi! you can't leave that lyin there!" the barkeeper shouts
"thats not a lion it's a hippo" the man replys

strange one that

you have to read it out loud to understand

bazzer wrote:

you have to read it out loud to understand

i got the joke
it is just a strange joke

metroid master wrote:

bazzer wrote:

you have to read it out loud to understand

i got the joke
it is just a strange joke

Second'd, it's just plain strange...

any more cool jokes ?
i wont post any as i'm **** at them lol

how do you keep an idiot in suspense?

I'll tell you later...

shroom of doom wrote:

how do you keep an idiot in suspense?

I'll tell you later...

lol thats very good
will have to try it tomorrow